Notes From May
May felt like a pivotal month in many ways. Ben started his paternity leave (woohoo!) and time back to myself felt like a bit of a homecoming. The first 8 months of Emma’s life rocked my world and tested me in ways I can now start to appreciate and feel gratitude for. I’ve been able to reflect and see how in those hard and difficult moments of early motherhood, I was able to grow not just as a mother but a person outside of that role too. Reconnecting to my creativity has been a big part of that and I wrote a little about that journey here. I plan to write more about similar topics over on my new Substack! I have no idea what I’m doing over there but so far it’s fun!
We kicked off this month (and Ben’s pat leave) with 5 days on Salt Spring Island and it was one of my favourite getaways to date. The farmstands, wooly animals, amazing local food, handcrafted treasures – it had me written all of it and I was utterly smitten. I plan to write a recap soon so stay tuned.
The rest of the month has been filled with finding our new groove, which honestly has just felt so good. Lots of morning snuggles with all four of us (Penny included), walks to the park, and just enjoying the little pleasures in life with a little one.
Here’s a further peek into what this month looked like:
Reading: I’ve read a mix of fiction and non-fiction this month which is always such a nice balance. The Housemaid was a great page turner that I picked up from our building’s book swap. I’m now onto Then She Was Gone. I said last month that I was going to dive into Kristin Hannah but I’m feeling a little intimidated by the length right now, so quick thrillers it still is!
On the non-fiction side, I’ve been really enjoying diving into books about motherhood (or ‘matrescence’ - the process of becoming of a mother). I’ve had so many revelations while on this journey and hearing similar sentiments echoed by authors is inspiring and comforting. I first read The Postnatal Depletion Cure, which is written by a male doctor (I know, but trust me) who was inspired by his female patients to better support them physically, mentally and emotionally in postpartum beyond those first 6 weeks. He takes a very holistic approach, borrowing ideas from Eastern medicine that our Western counterpart often overlooks. It really helped validate a lot of what I had been feeling. I’m now onto Mothershift, which is written by a mother and doula, about the journey of matresense through four key stages. I feel so seen and heard in pretty much every sentence the author writes.
Listening: I’ve been obsessed with this one Jay Shetty podcast featuring Humble the Poet that I’ve probably listened to 4 times now. Every time I listen, I catch something I missed the previous time. While I don’t listen to Jay’s podcast regularly, this one just got me. So many good nuggets. The way Humble discusses anxiety, overthinking and people-pleasing really hit home for me. I enjoyed listening to it (so many times) that I’ve started listening to one of his audiobooks. I’ll be sure to share my thoughts next month.
Eating: Earlier this month this citrus and avocado salmon was in rotation and it has become a fast fav. We tend to do the same boring seasoning with salmon and I’m inspired to mix it up a bit more. This past weekend I whipped up a batch of Alison Roman’s blueberry muffins and they were pretty superb. I have leftover buttermilk and so I’m going to make her Old-Fashioned Strawberry Cake later this week. I feel like we’re on the brink of seasonal produce here in BC and I’m so excited to indulge.
Creating: I wrote a whole post about this topic so I won’t dive into the “why”, but I’ve been really focusing on reconnecting with my creative self and learning to let go of perfection and expectations. It’s been a really interesting process in learning to show up for myself. I’ve had a such a desire to write recently (hence the experimental Substack) and it’s felt really good to do just that. I’ve also been dabbling in drawing and plan to try my hand at painting soon. More on this below.
Practicing: One way I’m practicing showing up for myself is by doing one creative thing each day, ideally something that feels uncomfortable. It might be writing a blog post, styling an area of my home and photographing it, pulling out my sketchbook and drawing. These things always turn on my perfectionism handbreak but I’m learning to lean into the discomfort of it and I’m actually starting to, dare I say, enjoy the challenge. One practice that has really helped is setting a 15 minute timer and allowing myself to create for just that short amount of time. It removes the pressure and makes starting (the hardest part) a little easier. Slowly but surely my inner critic is quieting and I’m finding my way back.
That’s it for this month! I’m looking forward to June with the official start of Summer and leaning into the best of the season.
