On Finding Consistency
Since the early days of lifestyle blogging, I have dabbled in the sport. My first blog I started I believe in 2010. It was called “The Mademoiselle in Me”. (I was a bit of a francophile and had dreams of living in Paris, which I actually did for a brief stint.) Then I had “A Cultivated Home” and now “Gillian Partridge”. Moving from Blogger, to Wordpress and now to Squarespace and Substack, I’ve been attempting this whole writing and content creation thing for more than a decade and I can’t seem to make it stick. It’s not because I don’t like it, I just really struggle with being consistent and getting out of my own head (hello, negative thought patterns). For years I told myself that I just didn’t have the time to do it, but that’s not true. Or that I didn’t have enough skill to do it, also not true. In fact, I’ve had plenty of time, especially before having a baby, and when I look back at my content I’m actually very happy with it. While the last 8 months have been scarce on the personal time, now that Ben is on paternity leave, I have so much more time to myself and I have a strong itch to create (you can read more about that here).
Being consistent and showing up for creative pursuits has been a struggle for me for a long time and something I’m always trying to overcome. I’ve read countless books, listened to numerous podcasts and journaled for unending hours, all in the pursuit of just doing the damn thing. No matter how much I “research”, I just can’t seem to find the one system that will work. I recently turned to ChatGPT, thinking perhaps AI could create for me the perfect plam. I was pleasantly surprised by what it suggested (a very detailed and personalized step-by-step plan) to help me get out of my own way. As I was explaining this exciting new finding to Ben, he wasn’t as enthusiastic as I hoped he would be. Naturally, I asked why with frustration and he said that I already knew all of this. He’d heard me talk about these systems before. This was the same thing just worded slightly differently. He was (mostly) right. I had all of the information I needed, I just needed to actually do. And ChatGPT was basically telling me the same thing.
What I’ve realized (and no, it’s not groundbreaking):
Being consistent is built by taking small actions that create the evidence that you can trust yourself to show up consistently.
You can’t rely on motivation to start. Action creates momentum which inspires motivation.
You find clarity through action. You can’t wait to get clarity before you start.
Starting is the hardest part. Once you start, momemtum builds and it gets easier.
As Nike says, just do it.
How I am going to build consistency:
Remove barriers: Decide the day before what one task is I’m going to focus on the next day (it’s actually writing a draft for this post). Lay everything out on my desk that I need (notebook and laptop)
Create an enjoyable ritual: Sit down with a cup of tea and start with my morning meditation (I use the Calm app).
Use timers where necessary: Journaling after I meditate is an important part of my morning but I tend to go too deep and get lost in introspection, never knowing when to stop and start the first task of the day. I’ve decided to set a 10 minute timer and do my “brain dump”.
Create a bridge into action: After my brain dump, answer these 3 questions in my journal: How do I feel? What do I want to focus on? What is the next step forward?
Take action: Tell myself, “I am going to write the draft for a blog post about building consistency around writing.” Sometimes a “5,4,3,2,1 action” can help too.
Track attempts not outcomes: At the end of each day, write down what attemps I made that day. Today it will be “wrote a blog post draft”. Celebrate that win. This is the evidence that I showed up. It’s not about what I wrote or the quality of it. Just that I did it.
When my mind gets consumed by stories (I’m not good at this, this shouldn’t be so hard, I don’t have all of the information to do this, I don’t have a well thought out plan for this), I find turning to some simple mantras or phrases helps ground me. Here are the ones I have decided to use:
I only need to start.
I am safe to create. I start small. I learn and get clarity by doing.
I don’t need a master plan to start, just the next step forward.
I am focusing on starts, not outcomes.
So that’s it. I just wrote this post and that is my attempt. I started. I took action. That’s the win for today. Not how good it is. Just that I set myself up for success, sat down and wrote.
